No Eggs

And then there were.. none.  Today I went in for an ultrasound to see if there were any follicles developing on my ovaries. And the doctor saw– none that were big enough. I have little cysts (that could turn into eggs) all overmy ovaries, but none that had grown enough.  So basically this cycle didn’t work at all.

My RE wasn’t particularly peppy about the prospects going down the road  either.  Our trajectory now is to try a double dose of Femara, then try Clomid (if that works, then try it 2 or 3 more times), then go to injectables.  The problem with “shots” or injectables is that they directly stimulate the ovaries.  Given that mine have lots of tiny little cysts all over them, the chances of higher order multiples on the level of Jon and Kate Plus 8 is pretty high.  Neither the doctor nor I are particularly excited about the idea of triplets or quads or something more ridiculous.  We don’t have aspirations to be the next reality TV show of families wiht tons of kids.  We’ll just take one or two thank you very much.  So to avoid this scenario, instead of the usual 8 days of shots– I’ll have a really low dose for something like 3 weeks.  And go in for ultrasounds every 4-5 days.  I think the word the doctor used was “tedious.”  So before jumping to that he’d like to cross out some of the “gateway” drugs first as outlined above.  I left feeling pretty sad and deflated.  Like I’ve just been shown a detour that involves some mountains and roads with no names.

Its been pretty emotional around here.  Afterwards I went to the nursery and bought a hydrangea called Endless Summer.    They bloom all summer– big beautiful white blooms.  I’m trying to enjoy what I can and decided that if another Illian isn’t coming in the near future I might as well enjoy the garden.

I just found out another friend is pregnant– and I am very happy for them– I really am– but it is very hard to be in this season of Babies babies babies!   It literally feels like every married friend I have is either pregnant with their second or third or getting ready to be.

I have been more grateful than ever for the gift of Jack and realize in a new way what a gift he is.

The new plan is to wait for a week or two and then start new meds to bring on my period.

Thanks for all of your support.

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